Social media has the tendency to do 1 of 2 polar opposite things at any given time… it either gives you a strong sense of community or it makes you feel isolated AF. It is a platform that allows us to find people we relate to, who have the same interests or who are going through the same hardships. The downside is it also provides us with the microscope to use to inspect how our lives do not live up to our peers.

I didn’t decide to create a blog so I could go on a rant about social media, but I started my first post with the subtle observation to drive home its true purpose. I wanted to create a blog about anxiety. I wanted to create a blog about the irrational demon that has steered my life into so many different twisted roads. I wanted to create a blog that while inherently about my experiences, others could relate to. My Facebook feed is littered to links by people to articles titled things like “10 Things People With Anxiety Want you to Know”, “13 Things to Remember If You Love A Person With Anxiety” and “The 5 Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who Has Anxiety.”

Even though these articles have grown cliche to me and completely generalizes what I am going through, they make me feel a little less alone and a little closer to that random acquaintance online. However, all it takes is 1 post, even after just deciding I’m bff’s with like 100 anxiety-ridden strangers online, ​to decide I am going nowhere in life and that I am destined to be a failure.

I know I am not, but it still doesn’t make help me feel like I have my shit together. I know people use social media to project the image of themselves they want the world to see…but damn thanks for making me feel so behind in life. I used to actually think it was funny to make my online persona (and to be honest, my real life persona) embrace being a “hot mess” I guess it was the way I dealt with my emotions. I used to be a self-described​ “misadventurer”. I thought it was funny, but in reality, ​it was just a way to mask my insecurities.

So 1st rant, I mean blog post, over. I don’t really think I provided a clear-cut​ conclusion to this post, but it’s my blog so I’ll do what I want. Stay tuned for more SweenXiety entries, where I actually go in depth about my experiences and maybe…just maybe somebody can relate and find comfort in what I write.

❤ Sweeney

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